tell your sister to shave her snatch
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
