paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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