I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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