She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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