I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
