the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
