swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
