please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
