we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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