I wannas sexs uuuuu
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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