Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Quick, to the slutcave!
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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