i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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