11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
