im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
