Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
my poor anus
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
