I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You are a genius and a whore.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
