My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
