I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
