Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize