I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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