Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
