Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
