Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
