My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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