it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
