that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
