just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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