I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
