bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
