Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
