Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
