I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
