We're facebook friends in real life
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
If I die, sorry about rent.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
