are you still at the devil's house?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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