We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
What drink are we having for lunch?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
