you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
