The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize