Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
