Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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