Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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