ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
