this beer tastes like vomit already
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
