Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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