I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
