i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize