idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
