my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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