we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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