We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
