you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize