put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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