he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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