Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
And then my night got REAL pukey
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize