Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
