that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
