I wish they made helmets for livers.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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