The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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