im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
