Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
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