I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
