I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
