Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize